Perspective Shifts for Healing with The Hanged Women

Performative vs. Regulated Confidence: Nervous System Regulation, Anxiety & Self-Worth with SuperKate

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with somatic life coach and Connecting with SuperKate host, SuperKate. Many of us think confidence looks like being productive, prepared, decisive, and always having the right answer. But what if some of what we’ve been calling confidence is actually anxiety, over-functioning, people-pleasing, or a nervous system working overtime to keep us safe?
In this conversation, Julienne and SuperKate explore the difference between performative confidence and regulated confidence, how high-functioning anxiety can disguise itself as competence, and why so many of us tie our worth to achievement, productivity, and other people’s approval.
Together, they discuss nervous system regulation, fawn responses, over-explaining, over-apologizing, perfectionism, burnout, performance-based identity, and the subtle ways dysregulation influences everything from emails and conversations to decision-making and self-trust.
They also explore how regulation changes our relationship with failure, intuition, rest, presence, and connection, and why true confidence isn’t about becoming more impressive, but about feeling safe enough to be yourself.
One of the biggest perspective shifts from this conversation:
What if you’re not lacking confidence? What if you’re just dysregulated?
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:
00:00 Welcome and Setup
01:15 Sponsor Message
02:12 Meet SuperKate
02:37 The Snowy Origin Story
06:58 When Worth Becomes Tied to Work
09:27 Redefining Confidence
11:18 When Anxiety Looks Like Confidence
15:08 Understanding Nervous System Dysregulation
16:25 The Email Spiral Explained
20:11 Signs of False Confidence
23:53 High-Functioning Anxiety & Self-Worth
25:38 Masking, Performing & Dissociation
28:13 Mid-Episode Break
30:01 Understanding the Fawn Response
31:09 Why We Over-Explain
33:17 Letting Go of “Does That Make Sense?”
34:43 Over-Apologizing & Taking Up Space
36:55 Managing Other People’s Reactions
39:41 Adrenaline vs. Regulated Confidence
44:27 Performance-Based Identity
46:05 What Changes When We Regulate
51:19 Start With One Breath
53:47 Final Thoughts on Confidence & Self-Worth
 
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing
 Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽
https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse
🙌🏽 Connect with SuperKate here 👉🏽
Instagram → https://www.instagram.com/the_superkate
Facebook → https://www.facebook.com/superkate
LinkedIn → https://www.linkedin.com/in/superkate/
YouTube → https://www.youtube.com/@ConnectingWithSuperKate
Podcast → https://rss.com/podcasts/connecting-with-superkate/

The Science of Confidence: Why Confidence Isn’t Something You’re Born With | Lilach Mendelovich

Host Julienne Irons continues the Self-Worth & Confidence series with public speaking confidence coach Lilach Mendelovich, exploring what confidence actually is, how it differs from self-worth, and why confidence is a skill that can be trained rather than a trait you’re born with.
Drawing from neuroscience, performance psychology, and intuitive self-trust, Lilach explains why confidence grows through evidence and experience, why affirmations often fail when the brain lacks proof, and how small wins create the foundation for lasting confidence. Together, they explore performance anxiety, perfectionism, comparison, nervous system regulation, and the surprising reason authenticity creates more confidence than trying to appear confident.
The conversation also dives into interoception, the body’s internal guidance system, and how learning to trust your own signals can help you distinguish between growth, fear, and misalignment.
If you’ve ever struggled with self-doubt, imposter syndrome, comparison, or feeling like confidence comes naturally to everyone but you, this episode offers practical tools and a powerful perspective shift:
Confidence isn’t something you’re born with. It’s something you build.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Confidence Is a Skill 01:18 Sponsor Break 02:26 Meet Lilach Mendelovich 05:11 Performance Anxiety Statistics 06:12 Three Types of Confidence 09:12 Self-Worth vs. Confidence 11:17 Reframing Failure as Learning 17:06 The Science of Efficacy 20:56 Why Affirmations Often Fail 26:45 Building Confidence Through Small Wins 30:24 Presence, Connection & Authenticity 34:26 Befriending Your Nerves 38:49 Why Perfection Blocks Connection 40:30 Connection Over Perfection 41:39 Permission to Be Yourself 43:40 Leaning Into Your Natural Strengths 48:45 Midroll Break & Sponsors 50:33 Working With Anxiety Instead of Against It 53:08 Building Confidence One Step at a Time 55:39 Healthy vs. Toxic Comparison 59:59 Intrinsic Goals vs. External Validation 01:04:51 Peace, Confidence & Resilience 01:06:06 Interoception & Intuitive Self-Trust 01:08:32 Growth Discomfort vs. Misalignment 01:15:55 What Integrated Confidence Looks Like 01:17:20 A Daily Exercise for Building Confidence 01:20:49 Why Self-Compassion Matters 01:25:10 Closing Thoughts & Next Episode
 
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing
 Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽
https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse
🙌🏽 Connect with Lilach Mendelovich here 👉🏽
Website: www.speak.lilachcoaching.com
LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/lilach-mendelovich
Get Lilach’s free From Panic to Presence guide here 👉🏽
https://speak.lilachcoaching.com/free/
 

Why You Struggle With Self-Worth: Core Beliefs, External Validation & Identity | Alexsa Wicker, LMFT

Why do so many of us tie our worth to achievements, relationships, appearance, productivity, or other people’s approval?
In the first episode of our Self-Worth & Confidence series, host Julienne Irons sits down with licensed marriage and family therapist Alexsa Wicker, LMFT, to explore how self-worth is formed through core beliefs shaped by childhood experiences, family dynamics, culture, trauma, religion, racism, and societal conditioning.
Together they discuss why external validation can become addictive, how comparison keeps us stuck in self-doubt, the impact of sexual assault and trauma on identity and self-worth, and practical CBT-informed tools for identifying inherited beliefs and building a more grounded sense of self.
One of the most powerful questions from this conversation:
“Whose voice is this?”
Because sometimes the thoughts we believe are ours were inherited from parents, partners, teachers, culture, or past experiences.
In This Episode:
✔ How self-worth is formed ✔ Why external validation feels so powerful ✔ The connection between trauma and identity ✔ How comparison impacts confidence ✔ CBT tools for changing thought patterns ✔ Journaling practices for self-awareness ✔ Living from your values instead of others’ expectations
Content Advisory: This episode includes discussion of sexual assault, trauma, and their impact on identity and self-worth.
#SelfWorth #Confidence #MentalHealth #Therapy #CBT #PersonalGrowth #Healing #SelfConfidence #TraumaHealing #PerspectiveShifts
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Welcome and Theme 01:29 Content Warning 02:01 Sponsor Marketing Clarity 02:58 Meet Alexa Wicker 03:45 CBT and Core Beliefs 06:06 How Self Worth Forms 08:08 Whose Voice Is It 09:38 External Validation Roots 14:13 Stuck in the Loop 16:49 Signs of Validation Seeking 17:47 Systems Shaping Worth 21:44 Racism and Scarcity Mindset 24:12 Trauma and Self Worth 29:29 Break and Course Promo 31:35 Comparison and Self Worth 33:45 Why Patterns Persist 34:30 Im Not Smart Enough 35:30 Brains Learn Differently 36:53 Long Division Thinking 39:00 Sitting With Emotions 42:02 Pause Before Reacting 43:52 Check The Story 47:07 Journaling Your Patterns 52:35 Changing Thoughts Daily 59:16 Living By Your Values 01:01:28 Whose Voice Is That 01:05:14 Closing Takeaways
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing
 Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽
https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse
🙌🏽 Connect with Alexsa Wicker here 👉🏽
Website: https://alexsalmft.clientsecure.me/

Energetic Attachment & Release: Parts Work, Grief, and Compassionate Letting Go with Juanita Lepage

Host Julienne Irons closes the Love & Relationships arc with psychotherapist and energy healer Juanita Lepage, exploring why letting go can feel so difficult even when we know a relationship is no longer aligned.
Blending Internal Family Systems therapy with energy healing, Juanita explains how emotional attachment lives not just in the mind, but also in the body, nervous system, and energetic field. Together, they unpack the idea of energetic cords, why “just let it go” often doesn’t work, and how true release requires compassion and understanding rather than force or shame.
The conversation explores grief, fear, trauma, and the hidden ways major life events can shape our relationship patterns years later. Julienne shares a personal realization about how losing her sister impacted her relationship to love and emotional safety, leading to a deeper discussion about attachment, avoidance, and the nervous system’s role in protecting us from pain.
Juanita also introduces concepts like “core star” expansion, holding duality through parts work, and creating safety within ourselves so old attachments can begin to loosen naturally. They discuss fight, flight, freeze, and fawn responses, early signs of emotional release, and why healing often starts with becoming kinder to ourselves rather than trying to “fix” ourselves.
This episode is a powerful exploration of grief, energetic attachment, self-worth, and what it truly means to let go with compassion.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Welcome and Theme Introduction 01:18 Sponsor Break 02:15 Meet Juanita Lepage 04:17 What Are Energetic Cords? 06:26 Why Letting Go Feels So Hard 09:15 Core Star Expansion Explained 10:19 Emotional, Energetic, and Psychological Attachment 12:41 Cord Cutting vs Releasing 16:27 Parts Work and Holding Duality 18:04 Compassion Over Force 18:58 Miscarriage, Grief, and Energy Work 20:28 Agency Within Your Energetic Field 23:11 Grief Behind Relationship Avoidance 26:05 How Attachment Patterns Form 28:51 Why Fear Needs Space 29:46 Getting Unstuck Through Support 31:03 What Emotional Release Feels Like 34:38 Nervous System Safety and Healing 35:50 Signs of Real Change 38:01 Self-Worth Through Self-Compassion 39:40 Closing Reflections and Next Theme
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing
 Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
 
🙌🏽 Connect with Juanita here:
juanitalepage.com 
Instagram: @juanita.lepage 
Substack: @juanitalepage

Aligned Love & Nervous System Safety: From Over-Functioning to Love That Feels Like Home with Sridaya Srivatsan

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships series with manifestation coach Sridaya Srivatsan, exploring why high-achieving women who thrive professionally can still feel stuck in dating and relationships.
In this episode, they break down what “aligned love” actually means: a relationship where you feel safe, grounded, and fully yourself, with a shared capacity for emotional intimacy rather than performing, proving, or over-functioning.
Sridaya shares her personal journey, including her cultural background, spiritual awakening, and healing process, and explains how family conditioning, “good girl” programming, and fear of disappointment can lead to patterns like “almost” relationships and emotional imbalance.
The conversation dives into how the nervous system shapes attraction, why familiarity doesn’t always mean healthy, and how to shift from overthinking and logic into somatic awareness and body-based trust. They also explore the difference between anxious chemistry and true compatibility, and how to hold standards in dating without chasing or self-abandoning.Finally, Sridaya introduces her HOME framework and 90 Days to Feels Like Home program, offering a path to build self-trust, release limiting patterns, and create space to receive love that feels secure, aligned, and sustainable.
 
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS00:00 Welcome and Episode Setup 01:11 Sponsor Message 02:09 Meet Sridaya and Her Journey 06:43 What Aligned Love Means 07:24 Why High Achievers Feel Stuck in Dating 10:12 Culture, Family, and Marriage Pressure 14:41 “Good Girl” Programming and Compromise 17:51 Thriving but Still Feeling Lonely 21:58 From Logic to Body-Based Trust 24:58 “Mr. Almost” and Dating Patterns 27:57 Inner Child, Future Self, and Time 31:13 Nervous System and Familiar Attraction 34:10 Habituating Safe Love 34:57 Breaking Old Relationship Patterns 37:45 Chemistry vs Compatibility 40:37 What Love That Feels Like Home Means 42:25 Over-Functioning and Holding Standards 45:12 Embodiment in Dating 48:01 Manifesting Romantic Love 50:29 Becoming Energetically Available 52:17 Letting Go of Control 56:21 HOME Framework Breakdown 01:00:24 Final Truth and Closing
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here: Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse
🙌🏽 Connect with Sridaya Srivatsan here 👉🏽
Website: 
https://manifestincolour.myflodesk.com/maillist
Use code TheHangedWoman for 10% off Sridaya’s Path to Aligned Love 3-month coaching container
Instagram: @manifestincolour & @sridayasrivatsan 

Love, Money & Safety: Healing Money Stories in Relationships with Katy Chen Mazarra

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships series with trauma-informed financial wellness coach Katy Chen Mazarra, exploring how money issues in relationships are rarely about numbers and are deeply connected to childhood experiences, nervous system safety, and identity.
In this episode, Katy shares how growing up with conflicting money dynamics shaped her own patterns and explains why couples often argue about what money represents, including security, self-worth, control, and emotional safety. They break down how avoidance, shame, secrecy, and what Katy calls “financial infidelity” can erode trust over time, even when the issue doesn’t seem obvious on the surface.
The conversation also explores how money triggers show up in the body through inner child responses, and why building awareness and compassion is key to shifting patterns. Katy offers practical tools like playful “money dates” that focus on connection and dream-building first, helping couples regulate their nervous systems before having financial conversations.
For those who are single, this episode highlights how money stories impact self-worth, dating choices, and visibility in relationships. Katy shares a simple self-worth jar practice to help rewire negative beliefs and build confidence from within.
This episode is a powerful reminder that healthy financial relationships start with self-awareness, communication, and a willingness to grow both individually and as a team.
Katy has generously created a Couples Guide to Money for listeners of this episode. We’re keeping this resource live for a limited time, so be sure to grab it over the next couple of weeks while it’s available: http://pages.katychenmazzara.com/couplesguide
After that, you can stay connected and continue learning from Katy by signing up for her Money Magic Mail here: https://katychenmazzara.lpages.co/kcm-newsletter-sign-up/
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Money Meets Love 01:17 Sponsor Message 02:00 Meet Katy Chen Mazarra 03:07 From TV to Money Coach 06:51 Childhood Money Imprints 09:38 Why Couples Clash Over Money 14:43 Avoidance Creates Distance 17:29 Money, Safety, and the Nervous System 24:37 Financial Infidelity Story 26:24 Inner Child Money Triggers 30:00 Money Dates and Dream Building 32:29 Shame and Secrecy Around Money 33:38 Compassion and Healing Money Shame 39:35 Love Bigger Than Debt 43:14 Overgiving and Self-Worth 45:51 Self-Worth Jar Practice 47:45 How Couples Talk Without Fighting 49:28 Money Dates in Practice 50:59 Healthy Financial Partnership Dynamics 58:41 Change Starts With Awareness 01:00:25 Communication and Teamwork 01:01:33 Where to Find Katy 01:03:52 Final Takeaways and Next Episode
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing
 Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽 https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
✨ Find out more about our Healing After Loss course here 👉🏽
https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/halcourse
🙌🏽 Connect with Katy Chen Mazzara here 👉🏽
Instagram: @katychenmazzara
Website: https://www.katychenmazzara.com/
 
 
 

Attachment, Chemistry & Nervous System Healing: Building Earned Secure Love with Jessica Fern

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships arc through the scientific lens with therapist and author Jessica Fern, exploring how attachment shapes the way we experience love.In this conversation, Jessica breaks down attachment as a biological brain and nervous system process involving safety, reward, and threat detection, and how early caregiving experiences form the templates we carry into adult relationships.  They explore the four attachment styles, secure, anxious, avoidant, and disorganized, as adaptive strategies rather than fixed identities, and unpack why insight alone isn’t enough to break relational patterns. Instead, lasting change happens through nervous system regulation and new relational experiences.The episode also dives into the difference between chemistry and safety, highlighting how attraction can sometimes be driven by anxiety, familiarity, or threat responses rather than true alignment. Jessica shares how to assess whether you feel safe and like yourself with someone, and why that distinction is key to building healthier relationships.They also discuss how attachment functions across all relationship structures, including non-monogamy, and challenge the misconception that non-monogamy is inherently avoidant.Finally, Jessica introduces the concept of “earned secure attachment,” and outlines the conditions needed to build it, including presence, emotional engagement, attunement, and repair.Next episode: We explore the energetic lens of love through money, safety, and power dynamics with Katy Chen Mazzara.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS00:00 Welcome And Setup 01:12 Sponsor Message 02:11 Meet Jessica Fern 03:08 Attachment Biology Basics 04:44 Avoidant Style And Loss 06:33 How Attachment Templates Form 07:58 Attachment Styles Explained 10:42 Why We Repeat Patterns 13:53 Familiar Feels Like Home 16:24 Chemistry Or Threat Response 19:51 Attachment In Non Monogamy 21:47 Avoidant Myth Origins 22:31 What Research Actually Shows 24:27 Cheating And Attachment Nuance 25:40 Sponsor Break 26:32 HEARTS Secure Attachment Framework 29:52 Safety Calms Nervous System 31:00 Healing With IFS Parts Work 34:13 Awareness Regulation Communication 35:48 Early Signs Of Change 37:52 Earned Secure Takeaway 40:08 Wrap Up And Next Episode
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing
 Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
 
🙌🏽 Connect with Jessica Fern here:
IG: @jessicafern411
https://www.jessicafern.com

Communication, Consent & Boundaries: What Non-Monogamy and Kink Can Teach Relationships with Dr. Kat Valentine

Host Julienne Irons continues the Love & Relationships arc by exploring how non-monogamy and kink can offer powerful lessons in communication, consent, and boundaries.
In this conversation, therapist Dr. Kat Valentine breaks down the differences between BDSM/kink and ethical non-monogamy, emphasizing that consensual non-monogamy is not cheating, but a relationship structure built on transparency and agreement. 
Together, they explore how relationship agreements are created, the difference between boundaries and agreements, and why regular check-ins and repair conversations are essential for maintaining trust. They also discuss jealousy as information rather than something to avoid, and how understanding your emotional responses can lead to deeper self-awareness and connection.
The episode also dives into kink as a framework for practicing explicit consent, including scene negotiation, safe words, aftercare, and consciously negotiated power dynamics. 
Throughout the conversation, Dr. Valentine emphasizes the importance of knowing your authentic “yes” and “no,” and how building that awareness allows you to create relationships that are intentional, aligned, and uniquely your own.
Next episode: We explore the science of attachment with Jessica Fern and why we repeat patterns in love.
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Healthy Beyond Structure
01:20 Sponsor Message
02:20 Meet Dr Kat Valentine
03:37 Kink vs Nonmonogamy
04:56 Nonmonogamy Myths
06:35 Types of Nonmonogamy
10:50 Communication Agreements
15:53 Boundaries vs Agreements
17:36 Sponsor Break
18:28 Jealousy as Information
20:36 Kink Basics and Community
26:01 Consent and Safewords
28:56 Power Dynamics Negotiated
33:57 Boundaries and Emotions
37:15 Lessons for Everyone
39:16 Embodied Yes and No
40:18 Where to Find Dr Valentine
41:18 Wrap Up and Next Episode
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing
 Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
 
🙌🏽 Connect with Dr. Valentine here:
www.valentinetherapy.com
Instagram: @ValentineTherapy
Psychology Today: https://www.psychologytoday.com/profile/962077
Dr. Valentine has availability for new therapy clients in the State of California.

Why You Don’t Feel Safe in Love (And How to Change It) | Mike Elliott

What does healthy masculinity actually look like in a relationship, and why does safety matter so much in love?
In this episode of Perspective Shifts for Healing with The Hanged Woman, host Julienne Irons sits down with relational guide Mike Elliott, whose work centers on helping men and couples build deeper trust, emotional safety, and real intimacy.
Mike’s approach is rooted in his own lived experience. After navigating early attachment wounds, adoption trauma, and the breakdown of his marriage, he began to understand how deeply our nervous systems and early relationships shape the way we show up in love. That journey led him to redefine masculine strength, not as dominance or control, but as presence, accountability, and devotion.
In this conversation, Mike shares how patterns like emotional shutdown, reactivity, and blame are often rooted in unresolved wounds, and how shifting toward nervous system regulation and co-regulation can change the way we experience connection. He introduces concepts like “connection before communication” and explores what it actually feels like to be in a relationship where safety is present.
This episode offers a grounded, honest look at love, not as something we perform, but something we build through awareness, presence, and emotional responsibility.
Next episode: We expand the conversation into non-monogamy, kink, communication, and boundaries with Dr. Kat Valentine.
 
⏱️ TIMESTAMPS
00:00 Welcome and Theme Setup
01:28 Sponsor Message – Three Cups Healing
02:28 Meet Mike Elliott
03:33 Mike’s Origin Story
08:51 Devotion vs Commitment
13:31 Patriarchy and Disconnection
21:18 Male Loneliness and Brotherhood
27:50 Dominance to Presence
32:44 Three Patterns That Disconnect
35:58 First Shift Men Make
37:56 Nervous System in Conflict
39:12 Three Relational Stages
41:55 Healing the Inner Child
44:05 Regulation Builds Capacity
45:03 Wound Becomes Medicine
50:00 Initiation, Integration, Inspiration
54:43 Co-Regulation After Conflict
59:30 Sacred Relationship in Daily Life
01:03:30 Masculine Devotion Felt Sense
01:06:41 Devotion as Core Truth
01:10:38 Closing + Next Episode
Perspective Shifts for Healing with the Hanged Woman is presented by 3 of Cups Healing
🤳🏽 Connect with us here:
 Instagram: @3ofCupsHealing Website: 3ofcupshealing.com
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
🙌🏽 Connect with Mike Elliott here:
https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/newsletter
https://www.instagram.com/mikeelliott.relating/
transform@itsmikeelliott.com
www.itsmikeelliott.com
 Masculine/ Feminine Polarity download https://www.itsmikeelliott.com/newsletter+Freebie
The Sacred We Podcast:https://open.spotify.com/show/7EqHPtL9DovzPtazag8QO1?si=4509d4b1052d4baf
 
 

The Father Wound & Money: Ancestral Trauma, the God Wound & Financial Healing with Vangile Makwakwa

How does the father wound shape your relationship with money?
In this episode of Perspective Shifts for Healing, host Julienne Irons explores the connection between father energy, ancestral patterns, and financial behavior with Vangile Makwakwa, founder of Wealthy Money.
Vangile shares how her background in finance, combined with the lived experience of panic attacks and worsening finances, led her to uncover the deeper roots of ancestral money trauma and develop a holistic approach that integrates spiritual, emotional, behavioral, and practical financial work.
This conversation reveals how the father wound can show up as hyper-independence, money as safety, overworking, or avoidance of structure, and how these patterns are often connected to both the mother wound and what Vangile calls the “God wound”—our beliefs about worth, receiving, and whether we are allowed to have more.
You’ll also learn practical tools to begin shifting your relationship with money, including ancestral lineage mapping, nervous system regulation practices, daily money awareness exercises, and writing honest “letters to money.”
One of the most powerful ideas explored in this episode is Vangile’s perspective on “different frequencies of money,” and how your relationship with money may shift depending on what emotional, spiritual, and behavioral patterns you are tapping into.
This episode invites you to stop seeing your financial patterns as personal failures and to recognize them as inherited patterns you can interrupt.
In this episode, we explore:
How the father wound influences money, safety, and control
Hyper-independence and money as emotional protection
The connection between the father wound, mother wound, and money
The “God wound” and beliefs about worth and receiving
Ancestral money patterns and lineage mapping
Why working harder doesn’t always lead to wealth
Nervous system regulation and financial decision-making
Writing letters to money and building a relationship with it
The concept of multiple “frequencies of money”
 
Timestamps:
00:00 Welcome and Money Focus
01:00 Sponsor Message
01:48 Meet Vangile Makwakwa
02:58 From Finance to Ancestral Money
05:31 Panic Attacks and Ancestral Turn
07:08 Ancestral Veneration Explained
10:05 Father Wound Meets Mother Wound
13:40 Money as Safety and Control
17:54 Masculine Feminine Imbalance
24:22 God Wound and Deserving
30:41 Breaking Patterns with Lineage Map
40:03 Paternal Lineage and Receiving
42:57 Broken Lineages
43:59 Apartheid Family Rupture
44:30 Reclaiming Ancestral Gifts
45:51 Alignment Break
46:43 Religion And Money Scripts
52:57 Deconstructing Wealth Beliefs
57:39 Rebuilding Money Safety
01:03:18 Spirit Of Money Practice
01:05:43 Many Money Frequencies
01:09:44 Unlocking Abundance Rituals
01:16:29 Key Takeaways And Farewell
 
✨ Find out more about the 3 of Cups Heart-Centered Marketing  here 👉🏽: https://www.3ofcupshealing.com/
 
🙌🏽 Connect with Vangile Makwakwa here: 
IG @:vangilemakwakwa
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/wealthymoney
Website: https://www.wealthy-money.com/
✨ Get her breath work meditation here:
https://wealthy-money.kit.com/breathwork?fbclid=IwAR2POqpFWmdq4Md6p4JCjw0ZmyRIC3JWorMaKDdX2KJeakg0h33k1Y7DjWM